Phantasia
by D34L3R
Summary: A sudden realization hits Alice, breaking her down mentally. Can a good friend help save her from hitting rock bottom?


"How pretty" Alice said, as she stared out the window to the beautiful Japanese sun set. The sky was bright orange, which in turn gave everything in sight an orange hue. It was almost as if the entire world were in embers. The clouds could be mistaken for puffs of smoke, illuminated by the glowing ball of fire slowly fading behind the horizon. Alice shivered as she felt the cold breeze coming in from the window, it would be another cold night.

Growing bored of looking at a sunset no different then the many thousands she had seen in her lifetime, Alice stood up to retire to her bedroom. As she started walking off, she noted the deathly silence in the house. It was as if she were the last living, moving, breathing, thing on Earth. Her foot steps sounded as if they were coming from a giant in the the silence. It hurt her head.

As Alice walked to her bedroom, her vast collection of dolls followed her. These dolls were, for all intents and purposes, her only company. Alice was always a loner. Never really a social person, Alice's only real friend was Marisa. She had always liked Marisa, even from a young age. The two always hung out with each other, and became sisters of sorts. However, just as any living, conscience being, they were vulnerable to quarelling. Marisa and Alice could almost never agree on any one thing. Marisa was so _bold._ Often times when the two were out shopping, Marisa would steal things from whatever shop they were shopping at. Usually infront of the owner of said shop.

Alice, on the other hand, was more withdrawn. On the few occasions she talked to people, she stuttered while trying to find the right words. This, unsurprisingly, embarrassed her, which made the stuttering worse. It was a deadly circle, which often ended with Alice being complely uncomprehensible.

Marisa always seemed so special to Alice. Many times she caught her self refering to her as, "Big Sis". Although she couldn't put her finger on it, there always seemed as if there was something _there_ in the air when she hung out with Marisa. Naturally, she just figured that the strange feelings she felt when she was around Marisa were just due to the fact that she was actually around something that was alive and made of flesh, instead of cloth. These strange feelings that Alice felt for Marisa were often times the subject of a long session of pondering.

The young Youkai stopped in her hall way, and looked into her bathroom. Something seemed amyss. Nothing that she could put her finger on of course, just an odd feeling. It felt like something just didn't seem in place. The same feeling that you get when you put something where you _think_ it belongs, but doesn't. Pushing these feelings aside, Alice walked into her bathroom.

Have you ever noticed that if you prick yourself once it doesn't hurt, and you soon forget about the incident, just to prick yourself again and have it hurt worse even though it's the same injury? This is what was happening to Alice at this very moment. Small things caught her attention, like the four tons of dust that was resting on her bathroom mirror.

"How strange" Alice thought to herself while she turned on the faucet to brush her teeth. The pipes creaked, moaned, and trembled; but did not give away any of the water they were holding. They were probably rusted shut, frozen, broken, or any number of things that could go wrong if you dont actively use anything in a bathroom for God knows how long.

The second pin pricked Alice.

She couldn't remember the last time she actually used her bath room for the purpose of cleaning herself. Infact, she couldn't remember why she was even in the bathroom. Alice never really had a need to shower, or brush her teeth, or comb her hair. Who was she cleaning herself for? The only person who ever visted was Marisa, and even those visits were becoming more and more spread out. Her dolls were the only ones who saw her daily, and they dont have the mental capacity to judge her.

The third pin didn't just prick Alice, it stabbed her.

_When was the last time I've even seen myself?_

Now Alice was starting to worry for some inexplicable reason. She didn't know why, but worry was just starting to eat away at her. Just the thought that she cant remember the last time she saw herself scared her. Alice looked at her hands, which in turn caused the fourth hypothetical needle to ram itself into her flesh.

She was sickened by what she saw.

Her hands were filthy. Her nails, or the three that she didn't chew off, were dirty. It almost looked as if she just rammed her hand into a huge mound of black clay. Dirt stained her palms. When she rubbed her hands on her blouse, they stained it. Badly. 

Alice needed to see what condition she was in. She ran into her bedroom, stubbing her toe on the door frame. She ignored it, and trailed blood all through her bedroom. The bed room mirror was in the same state as the bathroom mirror, dusty and dirty.

Her blouse took the full force of her desperatiy as she used it to rub off as much dirt and dust as she could. When she was finally done, she examined the figure inside the mirror. Regret immediately filled her.

The person in the mirror could be confused for one that lived their entire life under a bridge. Bags had taken residence under Alice's eyes. Dirt streaked her face. Her hair was tangled and greasy. The blouse she was wearing was torn, ragged, and disgusting. The eyes in which she observed the world with were blood shot. A gash ran its way up her leg. There are no words in which to convey just how filthy this person in the mirror was.

Dismayed, Alice backed away from the image of this frail person that was in her mirror. She slapped her hands over her eyes to block out the horrid image of her in the mirror.

_No. No. No. No. No._ _That wasn't me, that wasn't me._

_No way that person in the mirror was me. I dont know what I saw, but it wasnt me._

_It was probably a prank. Ha! Yea, a prank. Probably just a stray fairy playing some of their little tricks..._

As these thoughts were racing through Alice's head, she had backed up into the wall. She still had her hands cupped over her eyes.

_Of course! What I didn't see was me. It was an illusion, right? Yes, an illusion._

_Just a stray fairy, just some tricks. Not really me..._

_Not really me..._

_Not really me..._

Alice started to slide down her wall, eventually ending up crouched in a corner.

_No. That wasn't me, it wasn't me, it wasn't me. _

_It was just some tricks, not really me, not really me..._

Alice, now with tears running down her face and sprawled on the floor and her head in her hands, started repeating those lines in her head.

_Not me, not me, not me, not me._

_Just some tricks, just some tricks, not me, just a few tricks. _

The tears streaming down her face were beginning to wet her blouse, and was forming a small puddle on the floor.

_Oh god, let it not be true. Please let it not be true..._

"Please, oh god please dont let it be true..." Alice began whispering to herself,

"Oh god please no, please no..."

The truth starting to dawn on her, Alice began screaming;

"OH GOD WHY"

"NO, NO, NO, NO."

Then it hit her,

_I'm all alone..._

Alice realized that she had no one. No one who she could cuddle up next to on a cold winter night, no one to read a good book with, no one to have conversations with, no one to _love._ All she had was herself.

At the very thought of this Alice began to sob. Her whimpers resounding throughout the silent house. Her dolls started to surround her, obviously confused about the state of their master. Alices sobs echoed through the house, drowning out the little noise that there was.

It was for this reason she didn't hear her door open.

"Um, Alice are you okay?"

Startled, Alice looked up. In her door way Marisa stood. Her golden eyes glinting in the light coming from Alice's window. Her hair shone. The magician's outfit she was in was clean and tidy, and she had her hands folded in front of her. Her looks were on par with the god Athena's.

_Marisa..._

At the sight of her best friend, Alice immediately leaped up off the floor and embraced Marisa.

"Alice!" Marisa said, trying to get her attention.

"Alice, what on Earth is wrong?"

"Marisa Marisa Marisa Marisa.." Alice repeated between sobs

"What in the hell is going on with you?" Marisa said desperately.

"Oh God Marisa, please help me..."

"Alice what on Earth has happened to you?" Marisa said with worry. "What's wrong ze?"

"Please Marisa, help me" Alice begged, now desperately.

"Help you with what Lil sis?" Marisa calling Alice little sis filled her heart with joy. "I cant help you if you dont tell me what on Earth is wrong!"

"Marisa, I'm so _alone_" Alice said with a new wave of tears streaking her face.

"So the lonelyness finally got to you I see" Marisa said, now relieved that her friend wasn't in danger.

"Here, come on Alice you go lay down and I'll see how I can help you out." Marisa said as she guided Alice toward her bed.

With Marisa sitting on her bedside next to her, stroking her hair and listening intently, Alice told her everything. She told her about all the small things around that made her realize that she was, for the most part, alone in this world. She told Marisa about her aged pipes, her dirty mirrors, and her ragged appearence. Everything came out, Alice held nothing back. When she was finished, Marisa laid down beside her.

"Marisa?" Alice said quietly.

"Yes ze?"

"Can you... sleep here tonight?"

"I'll go get my blanket and pillow" Marisa said in response as she started to get up.

"No no... you can sleep here with me big sis." Alice said while pulling Marisa back.

"You sure? I dont want to hear anything in the morning if I happen to roll you out of bed in my sleep" Marisa said with a mischevious smile.

Alice smiled, Marisa always was a jokster.

"Um Marisa?"

"Yes Ree Ree?"

"Could you um... hold me?"

"Sure sis." Marisa stated lovingly as she held one of her best friends.

That night Alice fell asleep in Marisa's arms. Alice was happiest then, in Marisa's embrace, then she ever was. She dreamt that she was sitting in a field of small pink flowers with Marisa staring out into the sunset.

Some times a girl just needs a life line.


End file.
